WOW. What a powerful weekend I just experienced. I joined about sixty other Warrior Goddesses for Warrior Goddess Wisdom Weekend with my teacher, HealtherAsh Amara. It was actually my second time attending, but it was VERY different from the one I attended in March. The first time, I was brand new to the Warrior Goddess path. I had no idea where I was going or even where I was. The first Warrior Goddess Wisdom Weekend gave me a taste of what I could be like all the time if only I chose to forgive myself for getting lost along the way. It was my first experience with a fire walk and opening the container of transformation that was burning inside me to tend to.I began remembering who I was before the world told me who I need to be.
This past weekend was very different because I had spent the last 6 months actually adopting the tools from Warrior Goddess Training into my daily life. I found myself shedding agreements that do not serve me and planting the seeds for my future in a very different way than before. I set my intent for the weekend “WILD”–I want to remember what it was like to feel untamed and free of the agreements I took on that are not my own. . .I set my intention and then let it work it’s magic. I caught myself throughout the weekend, feeling disappointed that things were not like they were last time and that was extremely difficult to swallow. I reflected on, OK this is a mirror, I am looking at–oh, I’m looking at myself from 7 months ago. I have shifted so much from then that of course things couldn’t be the same as last time. I’m in the darkness now. . .I’m sifting through the closet of old agreements and sorting the items so I can move through this process. How eye-opening it is when we take a step back and look at where we’ve come from. Then, I took a step further back and looked where I was only three years ago. I was in one of the darkest periods of my life, flailing and feeling wave after wave hit me until I just couldn’t take anymore. I realized, wow, I have expanded. I have gone deeper. With each level of transformation, I feel the lightness and the power around letting go of what I no longer need outside, because I have found it within. What a sense of freedom! That’s when I realized my intent was not to find the wildness this weekend, it was to recognize it. I am already on the path of the wild woman. I struggled to see it, because right now, there is so much moving through me I hadn’t stopped to breathe. To take it all in. To be gentle and compassionate for myself in the darkness. To remember, I am the darkness and the light. I am everything I need.
It is my wish that anyone that feels called to the Warrior Goddess Tribe will find us and know that this is possible for them too. We are constantly in a spiral of learning. I know that I will continue to have these big shifts and that I will be OK leaning into the discomfort. I know that with each step on this path I will stray from time to time or go so deep into the darkness that I forget I’m still on it. The beauty of the darkness is knowing the moon is still there, I just may not be able to see it, but if I breathe in deep and howl from my core, I will remember I am already home.